“Wow! I just love your ring!”
“Thank you, my husband did a great job.”
“He must really love you.”
That’s normally how the conversation surrounding my Marquise cut goes. It’s always an opener about how beautiful it is and how it catches the light *just* so. I love my ring and I do love the compliments that it tends to gather, mainly because it is a symbol of the love my husband has for me in material form.
The day we decided to look at rings was an interesting day. Ben, for whatever reason, figured it was high time he make me into an honest woman and wanted my opinion on rings. Together we would huddle around our computers or phones and pick out perfect rings. The very best diamonds, cuts, carats, clarities, and his vetoing my gem picks (aquamarine for his birthday). It was no surprise when he suggested we go look at rings and that I try a few on. So onward we went! As we perused the many sparkly jewels behind the counter, one stood out. The ring I now host on my left hand. “Oh, nothing too flashy.” “I don’t want a big ring.” “Nothing too tall, I don’t want to scratch children.” And bam! I got all of that in one! (no regrets) As my husband placed it on my hand at the counter, we both looked in awe at the very last Marquise halo they had– and in my size. Sold!
When I get compliments on my ring, I take that time to gloat about my husband. Because the truth is that the ring pales in comparison to the true radiance that comes from the marriage my husband and I have.
I wasn’t one to date in high school or even before college, and I sure never thought I would be married. So the fact that I somehow managed to be so blessed with such a wonderful man is a mystery to me! I prayed so many times for God to bless me with a husband… and I prayed *for* my husband to, but it wasn’t until I stopped focusing so much on having someone to “complete” me, that the Lord blessed me with Ben. But, I had to take time and do my part first… as did my husband.
Ben and I both took our time. In everything. And we sought the Lord in many and various ways throughout our dating relationship. Not very many people know this, but we had almost broken up at one point from more outside influence than anything else (this story is for another day, but it’s worth noting). It’s unfortunate that we had to go through heartbreak, being together, but it’s something that I am (sometimes) thankful for. I will never forget the conversation we had where we had both agreed to sit and be separate and really focus on what God wanted for us. And if He bought us together again, great. If not, time to pack up that Honda and hit up the mission field. That’s why, you never ever allow someone else to be your focus (or allow other people to adjust your focus). You should always let your focus be Christ and His wants for you…. if that includes someone else, cool. If not, cool.
*side bar: bringing up that story of us almost breaking up makes me furious to this day. It was tough packing up and just moving to Ohio, but for so many people to not even give me the time of day or truly get to know *me* really is the most infuriating thing– like Arthur clenching his fists furious*
Moving on….. My husband and I are the amazing people we are because we knew how to be ourselves- with and without- the other present. We both have our differences and our similarities but our most common ground is the firm belief we have in knowing Jesus is the center of our lives. I definitely do not say this with light-heartedness but with complete sincerity. Make Him the firm foundation of your life before you even *think* about being in any kind of dating relationship. Not only does this make your life easier, but the boundaries and overwhelming respect that come with it, are worth it. My husband respects me because he was taught that we are all God’s children and why would you disrespect a child of God? My husband has never once ever made any kind of inappropriate comment or innuendo during our whole time together. He respects me. He respects that I am a child of God. THAT is what makes him as radiant as the diamond on my finger, that’s what makes our marriage as flashy as the symbol of love he placed on my finger after we read our vows. We respect each other, we are patient with each other, we know that because of God’s overwhelming love for us, that we can make it through anything.
I am so blessed to have my husband, as he is blessed to have me. I don’t brag about our marriage just to show it off or compete… I brag about our marriage because I want other people to have what we have. I want couples to love the Lord and serve together and serve each other blanketed by the peace that comes with a firm foundation.
Everyday I look down at my ring and I just grin because I know that even as we get old and grey, the Lord’s blessing on our marriage will never fade.