Hello everyone! Long time no read, huh?
I never promised I would keep up this blog! Sillies!
The past two weeks have been challenging! Wow. So glad we are in the home stretch of “this is actually no longer a suck-fest”!
Today, I have some advise for my *newlyweds*, or oldly-weds, if you need to hear this.
My advise? Don’t try to fit your spouse into a mold they do not fit in. Now, with my husband, given his height, that is not something I could actually do. I’m almost positive that one day he will bench press me. Maybe when I’m old and feeble, maybe when I lose these next 30 pounds, still… he’s a big dude.
I say not to fit your spouse into a mold because that is something that is so easy to do… When you dream about your life with your partner and the “some day”, you think and ponder on this person that God will give you. Will they be tall? Will they be attractive? Will they be funny? Will they be patient with me? Will they enjoy my endless head-bobbing while I listen to music? You sit and you imagine this person… it’s almost like you are hoping that God is making that person based on your requirements and wonders. Thankfully, He’s not! He has already made that person!
When my husband and I were going through marriage counseling, we were asked about what roles each of us would take on in the marriage. Some of them were extremely crucial to figure out before the I-Dos were said… some were like “okay yeah she can do that” or “I think he should totally be responsible for that.”
During that process, Ben and I had discussed a few of the priorities each of us would take. I realize now that during that time that we based those roles on principles that we have both been taught by our parents… He should control the money… She should care for the home… He should kill spiders… She should make sure the clothes smell good. But what Ben and I are starting to figure out is that we don’t fit into the roles we placed ourselves and each other in!! We never took time to really map out our strengths and weaknesses as leaders and our schedules and the time we would *really* have to take care of the tasks we were given.
The past weekend has been full of encouragement and strategery. Ben and I have re-set those tasks and given them out based on strength, commitment, and common sense. It has been a weekend full of sighs of relief!
Go forth. And recognize your strength… granted there are things that we each have to do that we don’t want to, but if you equip those that are best fit for the job with the resources they need, there will be no reason for them to fail.